The Perks of Meeting Stephen Chbosky

In honor of Banned Books Week, Stephen Chbosky, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, among other things, was in town and held a reading/Q&A session in Lincoln Square. By now, the book may seem trite or unnecessary to some, in part due to the audience MTV books had a hand in generating, but I can still remember reading it in 11th grade and the overwhelming feeling of being so carefully and respectfully represented in a book. The book stayed with me, and even now reading passages can be an extremely visceral and powerful experience. 

So he's pretty much a regular looking guy. He read two passages, both more of the 'heavier' parts of the story. The first being the secret santa part where Charlie gives everyone gifts and reads that poem aloud, and then the second was the New Year's Eve party where Charlie does acid and really seems to be bottoming out. 

Normally at these things, I'm too terrified to ask questions, but I knew I'd probably never have this sort of chance, so I raised my hand and ask a question -- twice! The first question was theme-focused and delved into heavier, muddier issues. The second was about the quote 'we accept the love we think we deserve' and its origin, and he said he was so glad someone asked the question.

Afterwards, he signed my copy and wrote a puzzling, yet touching (and somewhat overwhelming) inscription. I'm not sure what he read into my first question (and maybe I'm flattering myself thinking Stephen Chbosky was even concerned with the undertones and innuendoes of my question), but I have to (or want to?) believe that it meant more than a canned inscription. After signing, he stood up and hugged me, and I felt even more overwhelmed, touched and star-struck. I was too shaky and nervous to stick around and see if this was routine treatment for his fans (I was second in the signing line).

Overall, I'm overtaken by the feeling of meeting someone who has created characters, a story, and honestly a universe that I felt so personally attached to for so many formative and difficult years. 

"So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. and we can try to feel okay about them." 

I halfway quit

I often wonder if I subconsciously self-sabotage any chance o balance. This summer the pendulum swung from me being so busy and a cranky piece of work, to a bored, listless whiny baby. Now that classes have started, I feel things starting to shift to crazy. Classes have started, my internship will (hopefully) start soon. I joined two 'extra-curriculars' of sorts (one is related to my 'professional development' as a social worker, the other fits somewhere between faith and friendship). And with this, I still have my job. Right now I work 20 hours per week. Instead of quitting outright, I offered to stay on as needed to do the few tasks I handle weekly. I had in mind that this was something I could do in two hours on the weekends, and it is, truthfully, in terms of how long these tasks take. But today, I sat there as my bosses suggested me coming in two mornings a week, working from home two evenings and still coming in on weekends. This on top of 4 classes and a 24 hours per week internship, and I found myself halfway agreeing ... what is wrong with me ... why can't I just up and quit? 

In other news of worth ... I finally made it to the beach, and in the water! Last weekend Rob and I rode our bikes to the beach and waded in the water, and it only took four summers living here. 

And of course, I've been trying to digest as much of the current politic climate as tolerable. I don't have much to add to the Palin analysis. However, I had to call out Mike Huckabee. He says as follows: "And speaking of Governor Palin, I am so tired of hearing about her lack of experience. I want to tell you folks something. She got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

So let me get this straight ... the amount of votes she received speaks to her level of experience? I think we learned about this sort faulty logic in intro to Philosophy, but I'll play along. So, by your account, since more people called in to Vote in American Idol than any presidential election in history, and in the mayoral race of Wasilla, Clay Aiken is more qualified to be the veep, right? 

It is interesting to now live in a blue state and be in a social work program. It still feels odd to not be in the tiny liberal minority.